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[Day Five - Fic] Earth Boys are Easy

By: jlh
For: hello_scorpling
Title: Earth Boys are Easy
Pairing: Suki/Toph
Rating: R
Wordcount: 2150


The summons — for it was a summons, of that there could be no doubt — came three weeks before the wedding, and from the bridegroom rather than the bride.  Help manage Toph, he begged, or her head will explode before the wedding can take place.  Katara didn't want to leave her young children for that long, but Suki and Mai answered the call.  Suki had fallen into what some thought an unlikely friendship with the other woman, but she felt they had a good deal in common:  young married ladies of some status, warriors but not benders, not quite ready for the babymaking that had spread like a virus across the finally-peaceful world.  Besides, they'd both spent time at Boiling Rock, which meant they knew a lot of secret handshakes. 
Toph, though, had been harder to get to know, and Suki wasn't sure she did even now.  Toph had been doing as she pleased since the war ended, which mostly meant studying with Bumi, though she would spend an occasional week with Sokka and Suki on Kyoshi Island. But Toph had always been closer to Sokka, and during her visits Suki would try to find hopefully subtle ways to leave the two alone, usually involving additional training or sudden excursions for her warriors.  Even though Suki and Mai were fighters, they'd grown up surrounded by women.  Toph wasn't really the gab-with-your-girlfriend type.
One might think that, being not much for those feminine arts, Toph wouldn't care much about the wedding planning, but she actually had very definite ideas about the entire affair.  Unfortunately for her, the wedding was a state occasion and she wasn't able to get her own way about everything.  She couldn't keep her parents from attending, though she did put a foot down and demand that Iroh give her away.  She didn't care much about the flowers but demanded total control over the food, and the palace chefs had balked over her requests for various, as they put it, "low-grade snacks of low-grade people" though the groom's veto of a belching contest took some of the fun out of that.  Suki and Mai worked together, Suki at keeping Toph something in the neighborhood of calm while Mai used her iciest tones to get this or that reluctant official to acquiesce to Toph's demands, and in ten days Toph had gone from entirely unyielding to mostly reasonable, which Suki considered something of a miracle. 
Mission accomplished, the three ladies spent time hanging around the tea shop playing Pai Sho under Iroh's watchful eye, shopping (Sokka had given Suki a very long list of essentials for his wedding outfit), and late night sparring with Toph acting as referee.  It was fun to see Mai coming out of herself a bit, to see her react to Toph's incessant teasing, to be around Mai when she didn't have one eye and one ear on Zuko.  The three of them made a pretty good team.

Which was why Suki was surprised, one night, to get a note from Toph asking her to come by her room, and not see Mai there when she arrived.  Toph was sitting in the middle of her bed, in the shirt and shorts she slept in.  She hadn't grown that much since the war ended, making her a deceptively doll-sized twenty-year-old, something she often used to her advantage.  But now, she just looked small.  Suki sat down on the bed, nearby but not touching.

"So … I haven't really talked to my mother in a while," Toph began. 

Suki nodded.

"But before I left, she gave me that talk.  You know, about babies, and penises and vaginas."  Toph paused, cocking her head.  "I don't think she used those words, exactly, but she definitely told me."

"That's good," Suki said, wondering where this was all heading.  "So you know that."

"But what I don't know is, how you have fun.  I mean, sex is supposed to be fun, right?"

Suki smiled, thinking that the last time she'd heard someone say those exact words, Sokka was wearing a fake beard and a Fire Nation outfit and calling himself Wang.  "It's better when it is fun," she replied.

"Well, so I think I can figure out how to get him to have fun.  He's a fun person anyway."

"He is."

"And I just ask him what's fun for him.  So that's fine."


"But—"  Toph paused, biting her lip and blushing furiously. 

"It's okay," Suki said, reaching out and taking Toph's hand.

"I just—I don't know what to ask him for.  And I don't think I can really trust him to know."

"No," Suki agreed.

"So I was wondering, I mean—do you know?"

"Oh," Suki said, more surprised that the topic had come up than that Toph had gotten to the point so quickly.  "Well.  Why aren't you asking Mai?"

"Oh, she's so—just look at her!" Toph said, throwing up her hands.  "She wears makeup and long dresses and she throws knives.  She always knows exactly what she wants.  I don't think she'd understand.  Besides, what if there's some special Earth Kingdom thing?  And you know what they say about Kyoshi Warriors."

"Yeah," Suki said, rolling her eyes.  "And you know it isn't true."


Suki let out a breath and tried to think of a way to answer the question without actually answering it and embarrassing them both.  "The way you figure out what you want to ask for, is to figure out what you like.  You know what you like, right?  You've, I mean, you've taken care of yourself, haven't you?"

"I—um, well … "

So much for that idea.  "Toph, if you want me to help you …"

"Fine, fine," Toph said, throwing up her hands.  "I've sort of rubbed against things.  Pillows.  And I made this," she said, reaching into her bedside drawer and pulling out a phallus made of polished stone, with a large knob at the base. 

Suki was too impressed with the craftsmanship to fret about what they were looking at.  "Wow, Toph, that's amazing," Suki said.  "You know, I bet there's a market for those."

"You think?" Toph asked, turning the phallus in her hand.  "I don't know; they might look down on selling phalluses out of the palace."

"Probably," Suki replied, snickering.  "So you're okay on what to do with him.  Because we could use it—"
"No, he's—to be honest, he's easy."

Suki nodded.  "Boys are."
"And anyway, that isn't, 'touch this part here.'  I haven't really used my fingers."  She set the phallus aside.  "I don't know how to tell him what to do."

"Everyone is different, Toph," Suki said, trying to hold her ground.

Toph waved her hands in frustration.  "I know that!  But what can I say to him, other than, 'sit still and let me rub against your thigh.'  Or what he's going to do anyway."
"Going to do anyway?" Suki asked.
"You know.  Wedding night, virgin, all that."
Suki thought for a moment, and then, "Oh, you mean, fucking.  Like, actual fucking."
"Of course.  What else do you save?"
Suki didn't say anything—it was probably best not to explain to Toph what she and Sokka had already done before they were married, and what they had saved, as it wasn't particularly conventional.  But then, neither was Sokka.  "Nothing; I understand now.  So really, you've never just, touched yourself?"
"I've tried, but it didn't work as well as ... other things.  I thought maybe I was doing it wrong."  She sighed, her shoulders slumping.  "So now I'm asking you to help me."

Suki got up from the bed and stood at the foot, looking at Toph.  Of course she wanted to help her friend but there was no denying how weird it was.  She wondered how it could even be done, since she couldn't really show her anything, and then she thought about touch.  "We can try one thing," she said at last.  "Take off your clothes." 
This wasn't much; they'd changed in front of each other any number of times.  Suki slipped off the robe she'd pulled on over her short nightdress and crawled across the bed, sitting behind Toph with her back against the headboard, one leg on either side of Toph. 

"Now slide back," she said, and Toph did so, nestling into Suki's torso.  Suki wrapped her arms around Toph's waist and put her chin on Toph's shoulder, and was suddenly reminded of swimming through treacherous waters with Toph in a similar position, all those years ago.  "How far have you two gone?"

"We haven't taken off any clothes," she said, "but one night we were kissing and ..."

"And?" Suki asked, softly into Toph's ear.
"And well, we rubbed against each other, you know."  She was blushing, and Suki could feel Toph's cheek hot against her own.
Suki kissed Toph's shoulder.  "Did you ..."

"I see," Suki replied, and then she was quiet for a bit, one hand rubbing slow circles against Toph's stomach until she could feel Toph's muscles relaxing.  Suki kissed Toph's ear, and the other girl gasped, and turned toward her, but before she could say anything Suki captured Toph's lips with her own.  She'd only meant a brief kiss, another calming measure, but Toph had other ideas involving tongues, and when they separated Suki found herself rather breathless.
"Well," she said, "you certainly know how to kiss."
"Kuei is a good teacher," Toph said, grinning wickedly, and then moved in for another kiss.

"I didn't know you could do that many things with your hands!" Toph exclaimed.
"Honestly," Suki said, "neither did I."
The bed was a mess, sheets and covers and pillows scattered across it and the floor.   The early morning sun was drifting in the windows; Suki couldn't believe they'd actually gone at it all night.  The phallus, which had made an appearance after all, sat atop a pillow as though it were a precious jewel.  Suki lay near the foot of the bed, too tired to even think of moving. 

"I'm hungry," Toph said.
"No wonder," Suki replied. 
"I'm going to be queen soon.  Someone should bring us breakfast."
"Someone should," Suki agreed, feeling around the bed for her robe, before finally flipping backwards to find it had slipped under the bedside table.
There was a knock at the door, and then in came Mai, who just stared at them, eyes wide.  She closed the door behind her, and stood with arms folded.
The entire thing was so absurd, Suki fell back on manners.  "Good morning Mai," she said, slipping into her robe.  "Sleep well?"
"And why wasn't I invited?" Mai asked, tapping her foot.
"Well ..." Toph began
"Yeah, Toph, I was trying to tell you last night," Suki said.
"What?" Toph asked.
"That rumor about the Kyoshi Warriors, the whole sex initiation ritual?  Completely not true."
Toph nodded.  "I know that—"
"But what they say about women in prison?" Suki interruped.
Mai nodded.  "Completely true," she said.

Toph's jaw dropped.  "Really?  You and—"
"She's my friend," Mai said, shrugging.  "We were lonely."
"Well," Toph said, "I don't have any afternoon plans.  Or any morning plans for that matter.  I wouldn't want you to feel left out, Mai."
"Well, I'm not joining until we've had breakfast."  She paused, looking at the room.  "And new sheets, and Toph, you need a shower."
Toph smiled.  "The tub in the bathroom is big enough for all of us.  And there's a lot of girly-smelling stuff on the shelf."

Mai leaned back against the door, and finally smiled.  "That's more like it," she said.

A few months later, a box arrived for Suki from Ba Sing Se.  At the wedding Toph had said that her bridesmaid gifts would be delayed, but now she had returned from her wedding tour.  Suki wondered what Toph had bought them in her travels; she also wondered how well Toph was settling into her new life as the Earth Queen.
She hadn't been home when the box came, and when she walked in Sokka was almost vibrating with excitement.  "Maybe she gave you an ancient artifact!" he said.  "Or food, maybe it's a cured meat we've never had before!"
"I'm pretty sure there is no cured meat you haven't had," Suki said, opening the box.  Inside was a phallus, not much different than the one Toph had carved for herself, and a beautiful harness made of brown leather.  Suki grinned; she'd been hoping this was the mysterious present.  She wondered, suddenly, if Toph had also given one to Katara.
"Um, is that what I think it is?" Sokka asked.
"Yes," Suki replied.
"But—you have me, right?" he said, his voice cracking a little.  "You don't need that."
"Oh I don't know," Suki said, turning to look at Sokka, the phallus in her hand.  "Sex is supposed to be fun, right?"




( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Nov. 17th, 2008 11:26 pm (UTC)
Sokka will not be poor Sokka for long!

Thank you! I'm pleased that you liked it!
Nov. 6th, 2008 04:20 am (UTC)
Man, I love fic where everyone is having sexy fun with everyone. Toph's budding career in stone dildo craftsmanship is brilliant, as is the Kyoshi Warrior/women in prison discussion. And the last line, ahahaha. This was great.
Nov. 17th, 2008 11:49 pm (UTC)
Toph's budding career in stone dildo craftsmanship

The kid has a future!

Sexy fun, indeed. Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Nov. 17th, 2008 09:16 pm (UTC)
I got an email from ali_wildgoose just now, directing me here; I had managed to miss this entry on my flist completely. I'm really sorry about that!

Mostly for my own sake, because this is basically everything I could have wished for. Hot, funny, IC...unexpected threesome in the end... What else does a femslash shipper need?

Being a canon nerd myself, I love how you could fit Suki/Toph into the story without breaking up canon pairings. B)

I COULD SERIOUSLY QOUTE LIKE EVERYTHING IN HERE ♥ So I won't even try settle for only a couple of lines. But I have to say that dialogue is probably my favorite thing, I can hear the characters voices in my head while reading.

The little amusing details are amazing, too. Like secret prison handshakes (just imagining Mai doing a secret handshake makes me giggle like a maniac) and the recurring joke about Kyoshi warriors and their sexual preferences.

BLA BLA I loved this. <33 Thank you so, so much.
Nov. 17th, 2008 11:58 pm (UTC)
I can hear the characters voices in my head while reading.

I can't think of a higher compliment!

I'm so glad that the story satisfied! Hurrah, and thanks!
Jan. 7th, 2011 01:53 am (UTC)
This story is so fucking brilliant. It's like, a bunch of elements I've seen and liked elsewhere, but coming together in a special magic synergy of awesome hot storytelling.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )